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So who is SassyPants and where did she come from?

It was a normal childhood  in a Mayberry-like town.  Laughing, playing, siblings and friends, long summer days spent riding horses or running from neighborhood house to neighborhood house being in neighborhood plays, floating paper boats in the creek, being my brother’s sidekick-shooting gophers for farmer Noah down the road, or camping up the West Fork while gathering firewood for our lonnggg winters in Montana.  I will never forget the first time my older brother got me laughing while drinking milk at the dinner table and of course the milk spewed up and out my nose while I choked and sputtered…..laughing, wheezing, red-faced, tears running down my cheeks.   Once he broke that code , there was no going back. My lungs burn at the thought.    Pretty innocent and pretty idealic in many ways.  And like any other normal childhood there was some trauma.  I don’t think any of us make it through without experiencing some-in one form or another.  Whether it be the school yard bully who eventually grows into an ax-murderer or parents who are over-exuberant with their discipline or (sadly and tragically)  worse-we tend to all emerge with a few scars.  Without dealing with those scars, they can become invisible shackles.

As a result of some of those challenging experiences, I entered adulthood without any sense of how to have a healthy boundary.  ‘Yes‘ to everything meant I was being loving, good and kind.  ‘No‘ to anything  meant exile and unacceptance.  I didn’t know who I was-because my identity was wrapped up in pleasing my parents and others.  I became a chameleon, emerging from adolescence into adulthood with complete identity confusion.  I was anyone you wanted me to be.  In the face of conflict I had no skill other than to freeze, please or fly.  My stomach, constantly in knots.   In marriage-I thought our first fight meant a divorce.  I was chronically anxious.  I chose a career that was someone else’s idea what I should do instead of following my passion.   It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I realized that I needed to question how I was ‘doing‘ life…..and I chose to rip those shackles off!

I hated that in my core existed internal turmoil when it came to conflict while living in fear of the  ramifications of speaking truth in authenticity.  My fear of conflict started me on a quest.   I began studying.  Everything from bible studies to self-help books.  I was a sponge.  And I started making changes in how I do life, what I expect from life and what I expect from myself and others.  I learned what it means to ‘let go and let God’.   I started flexing the ‘no’ muscle in my vocabulary and not feeling fearful or guilty  when saying it realizing that I could say, ‘no’ and not have it mean that I was being difficult or unloving.  I started having less anxiety and more peace.  I went from extreme people pleasing to being, well, in a word-a little ‘sassy’.   Don’t get me wrong.  I am not ‘sassy’ with the intention of being obnoxious or abrasive, but ‘sassy’ in that I can say no and not be obsessed with how it will be received by others.  ‘Sassy’ in that I can be me and have a solid knowing that I won’t please everyone or be accepted by everyone and if my being ‘dressed’ includes blue jeans that have a tear in the knee-it’s ok if not everyone thinks it’s appropriate.  (wink-wink)   As long as I’m not causing a ruckus in Jesus’s eyes, then I’m not living in fear of what someone might think.

I decided to become a life coach because it’s my passion.  I can’t not do it!   I experience  the joy and privilege of teaching people new tools,  watch their transformative process to a person who experiences more joy, peace, freedom, expanded vision for their lives and success.  And I thank God for His guidance and for all my teachers, mentors and for all the pain and lessons-because it gave me the greatest joy which is my passion for you!